Stop! In the name of the law

Driving around Gainesville is it quite easy to encounter one major problem. That problem is other motorist, and more specifically, ones who are unaware of traffic laws.

The most obvious and flagrant offense that we all run into each day is that hideous situation at a four-way stop. No one seems to remember their drivers test back in the days of our teen years.

So in case you have forgotten, and I’m sure you have, take a look at these simplified scenarios that will help you get past the stop.

The line forms here

It’s the holiday season, which means one of the greatest holiday pastimes is back again, and that of course is standing in line.

Yes with Christmas comes the expectation that anywhere we go – whether it be Best Buy, Target, or PetSmart – we are going to wait in lines.

PlayStation 3 is being released this week, and people are lining up everywhere possible to get their hands on the hot release. So I think it’s time we dissect the line-waiting scheme.

People seem to loose all sense of courtesy when approaching a counter that has more than one cashier. For example…

• TARGET – When at Target, each cashier has their own area equipped with a rotation belt, so there is no question about where to stand, which is easy enough.

• ABC LIQUOR – Sorry for this poor example, but that is all I can think of at the moment. There is the store Bath & Body Works but that is much too feminine for me to admit that I do there. What’s that? I just did? Damn. Anyway, there is one lone counter with many registers. With this situation, form one line. It is the most fair way to approach the situation, this way everyone will get through in a fair amount of time and no one is more fortunate to get through first just because they picked the better line.

CAUTION: Slow Ped-Xing

It seems like people no longer take nice leisurely strolls. There are no more evening walks after dinner or a nice saunter during a pleasant afternoon.

Actually, here in the “south,” there is still a tradition of ambling walks during the afternoon, and those occur in between class periods on the campus of the University of Florida.

Pedestrian crosswalks are designated for people to cross at and feel safe. Pedestrians feel safe because it is the law for cars to stop.

However, this does not mean that cars should wait 15 minutes while you pause in the middle of the road to retrieve your cell phone, tie your shoe, or talk with your friend as you cross paths in the middle of the road.

It is really annoying to most people to have to wait while you daydream through the crosswalk. Just increase you pace slightly and try to make the world and the roads run a little smoother.

Please silence your mouths

If you haven’t seen Borat yet, then you are missing out. The movie is absolutely hilarious. However, the crowd was not as funny.

I know that we’ve all had it happen to us. We’ll be sitting in the dark theater watching a preview for a movie, and then someone will yell out some random Samuel L. Jackson quote to get a few laughs.

It must be some rite of passage that I missed as a teen, but I think that this trend is sweeping the nation.

Much like this blogger, my theater was invaded and it almost ruined my movie experience.

I understand you may have the most hilarious thing to shout out during a movie, but do us all a favor and keep to yourself until the end.

Places to go, people to interrupt

Everyone should, and hopefully will, have to give a public speech once in their life. And hopefully when they do, someone will leisurely get up from their front-row seat, zip up a bag that they are carrying, and then walk out of the room with the door slamming shut behind them.

Why do I wish this on others? Because I’m cynical? No. Because countless times out of my day I see others do this.

I know that some people have other engagements. I understand this, but also realize that may not be the case all the time.

Tonight I saw David Burnett, a famous photojournalist, speak at UF. As the speech went on, people began to just zip up their bags and exit.

I know for a fact that one kid, who sat in front of me, was planning on leaving 10 minutes into the lecture to go to class. I don’t mind he showed up really, what I mind is he sat in the second row, in the middle of the row.

Dr. Kirk, a teacher from Florida, has noticed this interrupting trend among her students. She suggests telling students to treat class like a meeting. In a meeting, you wouldn't walk out on your boss. She has a point, however, as college kids we need to start realizing these things on our own.

If you are planning on leaving before a lecture is over, do us all a favor and sit in the back. It’s really not the complicated. Just imagine if it was you up there, how would you feel?

Are you f'ing kidding me?

After a few beers and another Tampa Bay Bucs loss, I am known to shout a few choice words at random inanimate objects, mainly because I believe that they are the root of all problems for my team.

However, after a few short hours when I am thinking clearly, I have already begun to voice my regret to my friends and inanimate objects.

The thing about cursing is that it is so fun when you aren’t thinking straight, at least to me. I fell like my statements have more validity and emphasis.

However, this really couldn’t be further from the truth.

When people curse in public places it really brings them to another level, one that is far below that of everyone else. Cursing just makes those around the curser feel awkward and loathsome toward that person.

Steve Mertz, at the blog Sales Presentation Training, gave this tip for public speaking: Curse in public! His argument is that cursing gives the presenter a feeling that he has made it. It is important to note he says that cursing is more often done by males, and that his tip is more for a speaking engagement and less for everyday use.

Steve isn’t really thinking clearly here. I can understand his point about the felling of empowerment, although I think it is a little lame. However, to recognize cursing as a good public speaking tool is awful advice and should not be heeded.

Making the passing grade

As I said in my last post, I understand that most people who are not bikers do not hold bikers in high respect. However, what always boggles me is that other bikers seem not to respect of think of other bikers safety.

When I ride my bike to class in the morning, I take my sweet time. I have hyper-active sweat glands that begin to moisten at the thought of temperatures over 60 degrees.

Yet when I ride, I stay as far to the left as possible. Some bikers who choose to leave late and ride fast then proceed to side swipe me, yell, honk and shoot at me. OK, the last two are made up.

I think common courtesy would call for you to just call out that you are approaching on the left. That is all it takes.

These simple guidelines for passing by the International Mountain Biking Association show you just how easy it is to pass effectively.

I promise I will steady my bike and stay to the left and let you zip by. Please, just don’t make my leisurely ride any more stressful or embarrassing on my German-manufactured, squeaky bike.