Social Suspects

Stop! In the name of the law

2006-11-27T22:30:00.000-05:00

Driving around Gainesville is it quite easy to encounter one major problem. That problem is other motorist, and more specifically, ones who are unaware of traffic laws.

The most obvious and flagrant offense that we all run into each day is that hideous situation at a four-way stop. No one seems to remember their drivers test back in the days of our teen years.

So in case you have forgotten, and I’m sure you have, take a look at these simplified scenarios that will help you get past the stop.

The line forms here

2006-11-17T00:05:00.000-05:00

It’s the holiday season, which means one of the greatest holiday pastimes is back again, and that of course is standing in line.

Yes with Christmas comes the expectation that anywhere we go – whether it be Best Buy, Target, or PetSmart – we are going to wait in lines.

PlayStation 3 is being released this week, and people are lining up everywhere possible to get their hands on the hot release. So I think it’s time we dissect the line-waiting scheme.

People seem to loose all sense of courtesy when approaching a counter that has more than one cashier. For example…

TARGET – When at Target, each cashier has their own area equipped with a rotation belt, so there is no question about where to stand, which is easy enough.

ABC LIQUOR – Sorry for this poor example, but that is all I can think of at the moment. There is the store Bath & Body Works but that is much too feminine for me to admit that I do there. What’s that? I just did? Damn. Anyway, there is one lone counter with many registers. With this situation, form one line. It is the most fair way to approach the situation, this way everyone will get through in a fair amount of time and no one is more fortunate to get through first just because they picked the better line.

CAUTION: Slow Ped-Xing

2006-11-13T22:14:00.000-05:00

It seems like people no longer take nice leisurely strolls. There are no more evening walks after dinner or a nice saunter during a pleasant afternoon.

Actually, here in the “south,” there is still a tradition of ambling walks during the afternoon, and those occur in between class periods on the campus of the University of Florida.

Pedestrian crosswalks are designated for people to cross at and feel safe. Pedestrians feel safe because it is the law for cars to stop.

However, this does not mean that cars should wait 15 minutes while you pause in the middle of the road to retrieve your cell phone, tie your shoe, or talk with your friend as you cross paths in the middle of the road.

It is really annoying to most people to have to wait while you daydream through the crosswalk. Just increase you pace slightly and try to make the world and the roads run a little smoother.

Please silence your mouths

2006-11-09T18:03:00.000-05:00

If you haven’t seen Borat yet, then you are missing out. The movie is absolutely hilarious. However, the crowd was not as funny.

I know that we’ve all had it happen to us. We’ll be sitting in the dark theater watching a preview for a movie, and then someone will yell out some random Samuel L. Jackson quote to get a few laughs.

It must be some rite of passage that I missed as a teen, but I think that this trend is sweeping the nation.

Much like this blogger, my theater was invaded and it almost ruined my movie experience.

I understand you may have the most hilarious thing to shout out during a movie, but do us all a favor and keep to yourself until the end.

Places to go, people to interrupt

2006-11-06T21:19:00.000-05:00

Everyone should, and hopefully will, have to give a public speech once in their life. And hopefully when they do, someone will leisurely get up from their front-row seat, zip up a bag that they are carrying, and then walk out of the room with the door slamming shut behind them.

Why do I wish this on others? Because I’m cynical? No. Because countless times out of my day I see others do this.

I know that some people have other engagements. I understand this, but also realize that may not be the case all the time.

Tonight I saw David Burnett, a famous photojournalist, speak at UF. As the speech went on, people began to just zip up their bags and exit.

I know for a fact that one kid, who sat in front of me, was planning on leaving 10 minutes into the lecture to go to class. I don’t mind he showed up really, what I mind is he sat in the second row, in the middle of the row.

Dr. Kirk, a teacher from Florida, has noticed this interrupting trend among her students. She suggests telling students to treat class like a meeting. In a meeting, you wouldn't walk out on your boss. She has a point, however, as college kids we need to start realizing these things on our own.

If you are planning on leaving before a lecture is over, do us all a favor and sit in the back. It’s really not the complicated. Just imagine if it was you up there, how would you feel?

Are you f'ing kidding me?

2006-10-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

After a few beers and another Tampa Bay Bucs loss, I am known to shout a few choice words at random inanimate objects, mainly because I believe that they are the root of all problems for my team.

However, after a few short hours when I am thinking clearly, I have already begun to voice my regret to my friends and inanimate objects.

The thing about cursing is that it is so fun when you aren’t thinking straight, at least to me. I fell like my statements have more validity and emphasis.

However, this really couldn’t be further from the truth.

When people curse in public places it really brings them to another level, one that is far below that of everyone else. Cursing just makes those around the curser feel awkward and loathsome toward that person.

Steve Mertz, at the blog Sales Presentation Training, gave this tip for public speaking: Curse in public! His argument is that cursing gives the presenter a feeling that he has made it. It is important to note he says that cursing is more often done by males, and that his tip is more for a speaking engagement and less for everyday use.

Steve isn’t really thinking clearly here. I can understand his point about the felling of empowerment, although I think it is a little lame. However, to recognize cursing as a good public speaking tool is awful advice and should not be heeded.

Making the passing grade

2006-10-30T21:58:00.000-05:00

As I said in my last post, I understand that most people who are not bikers do not hold bikers in high respect. However, what always boggles me is that other bikers seem not to respect of think of other bikers safety.

When I ride my bike to class in the morning, I take my sweet time. I have hyper-active sweat glands that begin to moisten at the thought of temperatures over 60 degrees.

Yet when I ride, I stay as far to the left as possible. Some bikers who choose to leave late and ride fast then proceed to side swipe me, yell, honk and shoot at me. OK, the last two are made up.

I think common courtesy would call for you to just call out that you are approaching on the left. That is all it takes.

These simple guidelines for passing by the International Mountain Biking Association show you just how easy it is to pass effectively.

I promise I will steady my bike and stay to the left and let you zip by. Please, just don’t make my leisurely ride any more stressful or embarrassing on my German-manufactured, squeaky bike.

Stop, look and listen, before you cross that street!

2006-10-23T20:58:00.000-04:00

As a cyclist, I am reminded everyday that I am at the bottom of the totem poll in regards too pedestrians. People could care less about a person on a bike. Bicyclists even rate lower than mopeds, which is just embarrassing.

But why do people feel that people on bikes viewed as less of a threat. I go well over 20 m.p.h. on my bike, which is more than the speed limit on campus at UF. So I can do as much damage.

I think most of us have forgotten to “Stop, look and listen,” before we cross the street. Everyone’s safety is in danger when you don’t. I have seen countless pedestrians crossing at the bottom of the hill that is between the Florida Gym and Weimer Hall. I know that there is a pedestrian cross walk, and that pedestrians have the right of way. But at least take a peak to see if someone is barreling down the hill.

Also, take a peak to see which of these basic rules of pedestrian safety you don’t follow daily. It helps all of us.

Shave and a Hair Cut? No Thanks.

2006-10-20T00:38:00.000-04:00

I never thought I would have to make this post, but what I witnessed today was an outrage to all mankind.

I entered a public restroom today on campus. Now, I know that it is a public restroom, and I know that I shouldn’t have high expectations. But this restroom is just outside of the food court. Upon entering, there was a man in the bathroom shaving. Perhaps shaving is the correct word; I think trimming would be better. He was trimming his beard in the bathroom.

I did not ask him why he felt the need to do it there, because I did not care to. As it was a public restroom, he could do whatever he wanted. So I did my business, and meanwhile, the mystery shaver left. When I walked to this sink, his trimmed hair was all over the sink and floor. It looked like someone shaved Big Foot in there.

How one could cut his facial hair in a public restroom and walk out without an attempt at cleaning it is beyond me.

I found this blogger in India who finds public shaving equally gross. I propose that we adopt the same law that India has, where it is prohibited to shave in a public steam room. In fact, I propose we spread this beyond a steam room. Unless it is a communal bathroom (i.e. dorms), I believe we should abolish public shaving. It’s just gross.

Also, while searching for a blog about shaving in public, I came across this guy’s blog, devoted entirely to shaving. I just thought I should note this.

Disasters in Holding a Door

2006-10-17T07:25:00.000-04:00

I’m sure everyone has had the same thought process going through their head as they have approached any random door and their is a person a head of you. Will they hold the door for me? If they do, will it be awkwardly long? Should I speed up? Slow down?

Well I’m not sure if there is a rule regarding it, but we can lay down some guidelines. If you are within a distance where you could ask them to hold the door, and you could do so in a normal voice, then they should hold the door. If you are in, say a noisy city, if they wouldn’t be able to hear you, then no deal.

Over at halfbakery.com, they propose a standardized door holding distance, which is basically what I am calling for. But a distance does no good. We all know people walk at different speeds, so the audible distance makes it a lot easier.

A minor in physical thereapy

2006-10-09T17:17:00.000-04:00

Did you know that when you sit for an extended period of time, lets say for 50 minutes, that your spinal chord begins to constrict? Also, your hamstrings and quadriceps begin to tighten and get cold.

Well I didn’t really know that, I actually just made that up. But it sounds right, right? But judging from all the people that have been shoving their extremities in my face recently, I figured they took me for some type of physical guru.

I’m sure you have been put in the same odd position where you are sitting, minding your own business, and then all of a sudden, awkwardness. The person in front of you begins to stretch, and not discreetly. I’m talking more of the hands-in-your-face variety. Perhaps this person feels the need to actually turn 180 degrees to face you while they crack you back.

Does anyone have respect for personal space anymore? Whether I’m trying to focus my attention on a lecture or just sitting on the bus, I really would appreciate an absence of your hands, feet or hair from my personal space.

Obviously people need to learn to respect the “personal bubble” more.

Wait a minute, isn't shopping supposed to be a pleasure?

2006-10-06T09:50:00.000-04:00

There comes a time in every young person’s life when they must venture to the local grocer on their own. It’s a day that I’m sure parents both dream of and dread, as their babies are no longer under their wing. Parent’s minds are filled with many thoughts two of which I am sure are did I teach them to no leave their cart unattended in the aisle, and they know that the express lane is for express customers, right?

These are just a few rules that we can abide by to make shopping more of a pleasure. When you are sitting in the aisle, try to keep your cart in front of you. Try to stay on the right side of the row, that way those traveling in the opposite direction can pass, and those trying to pass you while you study the 18 different varieties of Kraft macaroni can pass you.

Finally, as you finish your shopping, maybe you just needed some basic necessities to keep you happy, perhaps some sandwich items, a few beverages, whatever. But if you are thinking about using the express line, think twice. What does that tiny, hard to read sign say? Ten items or less huh? Sure, maybe you have 18 items like this woman does, but what if they are the SAME items, but more than one of them. Do five yogurts count as one item?

No, of course not. Let’s keep 10 to 10. Maybe we can stretch to 11 if you are in a hurry, but let’s face it, if you have items reaching into the double digit; you probably are in no hurry. The express line is for those that need express care, more for people with FEWER items than 10.

What's black and white and left all over?

2006-10-02T22:06:00.000-04:00

As a journalism major at the University of Florida, I sometimes feel uncertain about the future of journalism. It seems that there are less and less people reading actual print newspapers and more and more reading online publications.

But what is even more concerning to me is that, of this dwindling number of people reading print papers, a greater number of those readers are more comfortable with strewing them about the community when they are finished. Is this their way of spreading the great word of print journalism? I’m not sure, but I think that if it is, they are going about it in the wrong way.

Today while I was walking through the Reitz Union Food Court, I overheard a custodian cursing a scattered Independent Florida Alligator that she was picking up from a table. I felt sad for two reasons. The first, this poor woman shouldn’t have to pick up someone else’s discarded newspaper because they are lazy. And second, someone should not harbor ill will towards a paper simply because someone felt like they did not need to dispose of the paper in the proper receptacle.

I know that this post is a stretch. I also know newspapers are not the only thing casually tossed to the ground. But, how about we just start small? Also, take a peak at this article from the University of Oregon, where George Weyrens, a custodian, contributed a significant amount of money to the school’s scholarship fund.

A Portrait of a Subway Artist as a Young Man

2006-09-29T09:08:00.000-04:00

I know that most people that work in the food service industry are probably not that excited about their jobs. I know from experience, as in my short span of careers I have scooped ice cream at two different shops. But even if you aren’t thrilled with your job, or plan to make a career out of it, At least do it with a little pride.

The main culprit that I speak of is the Subway at the University of Florida. During the lunch rush, the workers never cease to amaze me with their multitasking and ability to crank out a delicious sub in no time. However, I have found that the Thursday night crew is not exactly up to par.

Every Thursday, as part of a five-year tradition, my girlfriend and I eat subs and watch Survivor. Lame? Yes. But it’s tradition. The Subway crew last night and the previous Thursdays, have been horrendous. They chat away while my sub sits there, they are in absolutely no rush to make the sub, and worst of all, there is not “artistry” in their sub making. They simply lopsidedly throw the ingredients on and call it a day.

I searched the Subway website and stumbled across these paragraphs in the employment section under the “Our Customers” tab.

"How did we grow to be such a strong team? By serving and caring for one person at a time. What are guests our saying about their experience at SUBWAY® restaurants:

You will have plenty of opportunities to interact with our guest on a daily basis, no matter what job you are doing. You will soon find yourself seeing many of the same faces again & again, and have the chance to get to know their names, as well as their favorite menu items."

Clearly the Thursday evening crew has yet to fully dive into this frame of mind. I also found another Blogger, Oli in the UK, that has the same problem I do. While his categories may not be PC, it just goes to show you that perhaps the Subway Board of Directors has their hands full, and not just at the UF level, but globally.

Folk tales from a folk show

2006-09-26T07:30:00.000-04:00

Last week I drove to Atlanta to go see the folk/indie artists Sufjan Stevens. The concert was amazing, sadly the other attending the concert were not. The concert, which took place in Atlanta's Fabulous Fox Theater, was packed to the brim with overly-excited indie kids that could not contain themselves once the singer and his band hit the stage. The intermittent yelling of "you're awesome," or "yeaah," was a highly distracting noise not only for the fellow concert-goers, but also for the band.

I found that there are some pretty simple rules to follow for concerts.

Michael’s blog is spot on with all the annoyances that concert-goers will face. The problems he outlines are ones that will bug you almost instantaneously once you arrive. So read them over, memorize them, and don’t be affraid to share them with your friends.

Don't be a debtor to society

2006-09-18T21:32:00.000-04:00

While watching the Gators triumphant win over Tennessee this weekend, there was more than one flag thrown for unsportsmanlike conduct, but this one occurred off of the field.

At a football gathering I attended on Saturday, it was decided by the group that we would order some wings, a logical football food. Being the gracious guest that I was, I agreed to buy the wings and have everyone pay me back. Fifty-five dollars later, I have yet to see a penny back: But why?

Well, as is the case for an increasing number of people; cash is becoming something you find less of in wallets and more of in antique stores. In our digital age, the iGeneration has shunned cash and turned a loving and adoring eye to the debit/credit card. Live it up Visa and MasterCard, this is your moment.

After the wings were purchased, I was then informed by everyone at the party that they had no cash, but they would pay me back later. This was not part of the deal, and I definitely would not have agreed to pay for the wings had I known that they party guests looked at the food more as a layaway item.

So for all of you out there that think paying someone back later for something you enjoyed with instant gratification is alright, I would like you to check these two sites out.

For all you Visa veterans.

For the MasterCard martyrs.

These sites will enable you to find your nearest ATM and take out a little cash. Even if it is 10 dollars, think of it as insurance so that you will not fall into that category of a loathsome layaway looser.

How to be a Stair Master

2006-09-14T22:59:00.000-04:00

It's a funny thing how you can type something one day, and then what you typed about happens the next day. I was in the University of Florida’s new library, Library West, and I was stuck on their nice, shiny new elevator. Annoyed and in a hurry when I had finished my library business, I took the stairs.

Much to my chagrin, and not really much to my surprise, I encountered another unnatural road block, as a group of three traveled up the stairs. This group decided that it would be alright to traverse the stairs, taking up the entire stairwell. I thought to myself that clearly these people have yet to stumble upon my blog, and second, that if they did, would they apply the same rules to stairs as elevators? So I have decided to lay it out. Lets all climb the stairs on the right, and for those of us heading down, let’s stick to the right as well. This way we eliminate the possibility of rounding a stairwell and colliding into a herd of three, staking their claim to the entire stairwell.

Elevating Your Courtesy

2006-09-11T19:02:00.000-04:00

Today, when it comes to walking, the less we can do of it, the better. We want the closest parking spots at Target, as many remote controls to as many devices as possible, and of course, one of the greatest inventions of the 20^th century; escalators.

Yes, escalators. Or, for the airport veterans, there are the people movers. We have all had an encounter with these monstrous rotating stairwells, and I’m sure we have all had the same problem. Whether it is the family of fifteen at the airport, taking up the entire people mover with their luggage, baby stroller, portable changing station, and Grandma; or if it is the couple schmoozing each other on a single one foot by two foot piece of plastic elevating them twenty feet. All the while you are missing your connection, you are late for your meeting, or you are just plain annoyed. If only there were a set of rules governing these devices.

But wait! There actually are guidelines for taking a ride on these revolving nuisances. And fortunately, they are extremely simple.

Are you ready? Are the pen and paper handy? OK, stand on the right. That’s it. I did some digging, and the results were clear. A website I found laid it our clearly, along with some other simple guidelines. Mainly though, save everyone the hassle of standing behind you fore however long it is, whether it is 15 second or one minute, stand to the right.